Dude Food Magic Bars


These Dude Food Magic Bars aren’t for the faint of girly heart. They don’t contain sprinkles, they aren’t low-cal, and don’t even ask if butter’s a carb because butter, carbs and butter carbs are all contained within these sinful bars. I realize that I’m generalizing men and women based on their cuisine-preferences, and that there are plenty of men out there who drown their food in rainbow jimmies and plenty of women who have the manliest burps after downing pints of PBR, but in general, these are total studly dude bars… and my mom’s wrinkled nose and disinterested facial expression when I offered her one, versus my dad’s excited, glossy-eyed stare kind of proved that point.

Anywho. These bad boys start with a yellow cake base. Don’t worry, it isn’t cakey — more like a fudgy, dense brownie-like base with bacon fat in the base. You read that right, buck-o. Then they’re topped with semi-sweet chocolate chips, caramel bits, crispy chunks of bacon, creamy peanut butter, potato chips, and sweetened condensed milk, aka the milk that the food gods drink. So Regina, if you’re looking to lose three pounds, you better get your cranberry-juice-cocktail drinking booty off this page. I feel like just by looking at these I’ve gained 3 pounds, but it’s worth it.

Now dudes & dudettes, who’s ready to eat?!


  • 1 box yellow cake mix
  • 1 egg
  • ½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
  • ¼ cup bacon grease, liquefied
  • ½ cup caramel bits
  • ½ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 12 oz (about 12 pieces) bacon, cooked until chewy yet not-quite-crisp and cut into chunks
  • ¼ cup creamy peanut butter
  • 1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
  • 1-2 cups ruffled potato chips, coarsely crushed


  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a 13×9″ pan with foil, extending the sides of the foil over the edges of the pan. Grease the foil lightly with cooking spray and set aside. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, combine the cake mix, egg, softened butter and bacon grease and stir together until a soft dough forms. Press the dough evenly into the prepared pan and bake for 12 minutes.
  2. Remove the pan from the oven but keep the oven on. Top the crust evenly with the chocolate chips, caramel bits, and bacon. Quickly whisk together the peanut butter and sweetened condensed milk; pour the mixture evenly over top of the bars. Top with the coarsely crushed potato chips (I just crushed them in my hands as I sprinkled them on top).
  3. Bake for approx. 20 minutes or until the center appears set and the chips are golden brown. Cool completely before cutting into bars. Serve immediately!

So they aren’t the most photogenic bars I’ve ever made, but they’re surely one of the most delicious! A salty-and-sweet-lovers dream come true, these fab bars have it all and then some. Sipping a pint of beer alongside of them is completely optional



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