Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake

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It’s Thursday night, I’m in my favorite ratty pajamas, hair up in a messy bun, binging that new Netflix show everyone’s talking about. You know, living my best life. Then my phone pings. It’s a text from my son’s teacher reminding me about the bake sale tomorrow. The bake sale I completely forgot about. The one I promised to bring something “homemade” to because I was feeling especially Pinterest-y when I signed up.

Cue the panic, right?

The Secret Ingredient

I’m frantically scrolling through my saved recipes, cursing past-me for thinking I’d ever have time to make macarons or whatever else I’ve pinned. That’s when I remembered this weird chocolate cake recipe my mom used to make. The one with the secret ingredient that always made me go “ew” as a kid.

Mayonnaise. In a cake. I know, it sounds totally gross. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and let me tell you, this cake is a freaking miracle.

Recipe Details

Here’s the recipe, straight from my mom’s vintage recipe box (complete with chocolate stains and her adorable cursive):

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 cup mayonnaise (full fat, don’t you dare use light)
• 1 cup warm water

That’s it. No eggs, no oil, no butter. The mayo does all the heavy lifting.

Baking the Cake

So it’s like 10 PM, I’m in the kitchen, hair wild, glasses on, praying to the baking gods that this works. I throw everything in a bowl, mix it up (it looks kinda weird, not gonna lie), and pop it in the oven.

While it’s baking, the smell that fills my house is insane. Like, “is this what heaven smells like?” kind of insane. I start to feel a little better about my life choices.

30 minutes later, I pull out this beautiful, dark chocolate cake. It’s so moist it’s almost shimmering. I let it cool (hardest part of the recipe, honestly), then whip up a quick chocolate frosting because more chocolate is always the answer.

Bake Sale Success

Fast forward to the next morning. I’m at the bake sale, setting up my cake next to Sharon’s picture-perfect cupcakes (we get it, Sharon, you have time to bake). I’m feeling a little insecure, but whatever. At least I showed up.

Then people start trying it.

Y’all. The reactions. Eyes rolling back in heads. Moans of pleasure. People asking for the recipe. Even Sharon – freaking Sharon! – asked for a second slice.

By the end of the day, my cake was gone. Like, not even crumbs left. I had at least five moms corner me for the recipe, and the PTA president hinted that she’d love it if I made it for the next meeting.

Lessons Learned

• Mayo in cake is weird but magical.
• This recipe is foolproof. If I can make it at 10 PM while slightly panicking, anyone can.
• It’s dangerously easy. Like, “I can make cake anytime” easy. My jeans are not thanking me.
• It stays moist for days (if it lasts that long).
• You can fancy it up with different frostings, but honestly, it’s amazing even plain.

Oh, and a pro tip: keep the mayo part a secret until after people have tasted it. Trust me on this one.

Optional Chocolate Frosting:

Mix 1/2 cup softened butter, 2/3 cup cocoa powder, 3 cups powdered sugar,
1/3 cup milk, and 1 teaspoon vanilla extract until smooth. Spread over
cooled cake.