Jalapeno Popper Mummies

Name: Jalapeno Popper Mummies
Prep time: 30 min
Cook time: 15 min
Total time: 45 min
Ingredients: 10 jalapeno peppers; 8 oz cream cheese (softened); 8 oz shredded Monterey jack cheese; ½ tsp garlic powder; ½ tsp onion powder; ¼ tsp salt; ¼ tsp black pepper; 1 tube (12 oz refrigerated crescent rolls); 1 egg beaten with 1 Tbsp water; 40 candy eyeballs or sliced black olives

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Last Halloween, my neighbor Karen showed up with these weird-looking wrapped things on a platter. Thought they were some kind of fancy spring rolls at first. Then she told me they were jalapeno poppers dressed as mummies and I was like “wait, what?”

Best thing I ate all night. Been making them ever since.

What Makes These So Good

Look, I’ll eat a regular jalapeno popper any day. But wrapping them in that flaky crescent dough? Totally different experience.

The dough puffs up and gets crispy on the outside, and inside you’ve got this warm, melty cheese situation mixed with cream cheese. The jalapeno gives it just enough bite without destroying your mouth. And those little candy eyeballs staring at you? Makes everyone laugh before they eat one.

My kid won’t touch regular jalapeno poppers. But make them look like mummies and suddenly he’s all about it. Go figure.

Here’s What You Need

Ten jalapeno peppers – Pick the ones that feel firm when you squeeze them gently. Avoid any that have soft spots or look wrinkly.

Two kinds of cheese – Block of cream cheese (8 oz) and a bag of shredded Monterey jack (also 8 oz). Let that cream cheese sit out for like 30 minutes before you start or you’ll regret it.

Seasonings – Just the basics. Garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper. Half a teaspoon of each except salt and pepper – quarter teaspoon of those.

Tube of crescent rolls – The refrigerated kind. Still jumps me every time I peel back that wrapper and it pops.

Egg wash – Just crack an egg, beat it with a little water. That’s it.

Eyeballs – They sell bags of candy eyeballs at Target, Walmart, wherever. Two per mummy. Or slice up some black olives if you’re being all fancy.

Putting These Together

Alright, here’s how I do it:

Crank your oven to 400. Cover a cookie sheet with foil and spray it down. You’ll thank yourself later when cleanup takes two seconds.

Cut each pepper right down the middle the long way. Take a small spoon and dig out all those seeds. Here’s where you decide how hot these will be – see those white veiny rib things inside? That’s the spicy part. Scrape it all out for mild poppers. Leave some in if you like heat.

Word of warning – don’t touch your face after this. Made that mistake once. Eyes were on fire for an hour.

Dump your softened cream cheese in a bowl with the shredded Monterey jack. Add all your seasonings. Mix it together until everything’s combined. Doesn’t have to be perfect.

Scoop that cheese mixture into each pepper half. Really stuff it in there. Don’t be stingy.

Now open up that crescent roll tube. You’ll have eight triangles. Push two together to make a rectangle and seal where they meet. Do that with all of them so you’ve got four rectangles total. Then cut each one into long skinny strips – I usually get about ten strips per rectangle.

Grab two strips and start wrapping them around a stuffed pepper. Crisscross them, twist them, whatever looks mummy-like to you. Just leave a little gap where you’ll stick the eyes later. Do this for all twenty pepper halves.

Line them all up on your baking sheet. Beat that egg with a tablespoon of water and brush it all over the dough parts. This is what makes them turn that pretty golden color.

Bake them for 12 minutes. Set a timer because they go from perfect to burnt pretty quick.

Soon as you pull them out, stick two eyeballs on each one while the dough’s still soft enough to hold them. They’ll stay put once everything cools down.

Let them sit for maybe five minutes before eating. I know it’s hard to wait but molten cheese will wreck your mouth.

Tips From My Kitchen

The heat thing – My wife can barely handle black pepper, but I like spicy food. So I completely clean out ten pepper halves and leave more of the ribs in the other ten. Works out perfect. Just remember which is which.

Those candy eyes – They’re cute but kinda sweet. Doesn’t bother me but some people think it’s weird with savory food. Black olive slices look just as good and taste better with everything else.

Make them early – I stuff and wrap all of these the day before a party. Keep them in a covered container in the fridge. Then just pop them in the oven when people are about to show up. They’re way better fresh.

Bringing them somewhere – Don’t bake these then drive around with them. They’ll get soggy and sad. Bring them unbaked in a container and use whoever’s oven you’re at. They only need 12 minutes.

Switching It Up

I’m loyal to Monterey jack but any cheese that melts nice will work. Did pepper jack once and they were spicier. Cheddar’s solid too.

My buddy adds diced bacon to his filling. Keeps saying I should try it. He’s probably right.

Seen people online who mix in some ranch seasoning with the cream cheese. Could be good. Haven’t tested it yet.

How to Serve These

Obviously Halloween parties are where these shine. But honestly, I make them for football games too without the eyeballs and nobody complains.

They’re definitely at their best hot from the oven when the cheese is still gooey. But I’ve eaten them at room temperature and they’re still tasty. Even had cold leftovers from the fridge next morning. Not gonna lie, still pretty good.

Some people like to dip them in ranch or sour cream. I’m good with them as-is but I keep dipping sauce around for guests who want it.