I have a bone to select with Doctor’s offices.
WHY is that the scale necessary? I mean, i purchase it: weight may be a big issue once it comes to health and yada yada. however I’m therefore not cool with doctor’s workplace scales.
First of all, it’s the first thing they do when you walk in there. That’s not very welcome-y of them to weight you right off the bat. They’re not even going to offer you a drink first? Perhaps have you take off a couple of layers which OBVIOUSLY weigh you down a good fifteen pounds, amirite?
It’d be like going to a party and having the host welcome you in, ask how your day is, and force you onto a gigantic machine that makes you cry.
Second of all, the scales digitize the numbers in red which is a rude color. And it’s in a plain font, so it looks really sterile and cold. Why they had to choose the bitchiest font and rudest color to deliver information to a fragile soul, I do not know. Perhaps the engineers behind scales are secret sadists.
Every time I see the number, I can totally feel it judging me with its electronic-looking red numbers. As if it is laughing in my face as it weighs every single ounce of everything on my person. And then it adds that STUPID extra decimal, because seeing your whole number weight isn’t enough of a slap in the face, it has to make sure you know you’re not just _ pounds, but _.8 pounds. I hate you.
I’d like to address the people in charge of making scales: have you seen that Special K commercial? The one where women step on scales and it says nice things like “Sassy!” or “Confident!” ? You should make scales like that. Except have it say other cool things, like “Your Hair Looks Great Today”, “Nice Booty!”, “Have you Been Working Out?” or “Did You Even Step on the Scale? You’re Light as a Feather!”
Don’t mind me, just trying to revolutionize doctor’s office visits forever. And banish those evil scales to a demise of being blown up.
Anyway, while plotting against machines, I came up with the idea to make a lightened-up, no-bake dessert that tastes refreshing and makes me feel all happy and light. Like my new idea for a scale, when you eat it, happy things come to mind, like “OMG this is good”, “wow”, “Hayley is a genius”, and so on. You should eat it and see for yourself.
Twinkie Strawberry Shortcake
Ingredients
- 18 Twinkies, unwrapped
- 4 Tbsp orange juice
- 2 boxes Jello Strawberry Creme pudding mix
- 1 & ½ cups low-fat milk
- 1 tub (8 oz) Cool Whip Free, thawed
- Strawberries, optional
Instructions
- Spray a 13×9 inch pan with cooking spray. Line the pan with Twinkies lengthwise, with 8 Twinkies on the first row, and 8 in the second. Use the remaining two Twinkies to fill the center gap between the rows (you'll want to slice those Twinkies in half length-wise and tuck it into the gap). Drizzle the OJ evenly over the Twinkies.
- In a large bowl, mix together the packages of pudding and cold milk until combined. Add 1 cup of Cool Whip; gently fold into the pudding to blend. Spread the pudding mixture evenly over the Twinkies to cover. Refrigerate 1 hour.
- Top with the remaining Cool Whip, cut, and serve. Store airtight, in the fridge, for several days. Serve with sliced strawberries, if desired.
Notes
Have a wonderful day!!
